What is it about?
Alfie Kohn has evaluated research on parenting methods and found that punishments and praise tend to hurt children more than they help them. If all you want is a super obedient child, that’s one thing. If you want a child to be able to reason and think for themselves in order to learn to make wise choices, that is another. Alfie Kohn encourages you to think long-term about how you raise your children, and focus on what kind of traits you want to encourage in them. How we do that is largely dependent on the parenting style you use.
Is it good?
I had 142 highlights in this reasonably short book. I found myself generally agreeing with most of what the author was saying. I was fascinated and dismayed by the research that Alfie Kohn had gathered. It turns out that I have pretty much done most of the bad things, and not nearly enough of the good things. Kohn admits on several occasions that parenting isn’t easy, nor is it easy to change your style. The important thing is to be aware that there are alternatives to punishments and praise, and do your best to get your kids to understand that you love them no matter what.
I wish he had spent some more time developing the practical points, as the research aspect of it took up most of the book and I don’t actually feel like I have added that many tools in my parenting box. Overall, though, I thought this book was a great eye opener in developing a better relationship with my children.
Hang in there, readers!
Not everybody wants to read parenting books, I understand that! I just started reading Red Rising by Pierce Brown, and I only have 15 more hours left in the audio book for Alexander Hamilton. More interesting reviews coming soon!
Does anyone know the name of this common plant? I knew it for days and days and I just can’t think of it now.